Dear Chimpanzees from Cameroon,

Thanks for nothing. I know you all probably can’t read, but I heard if you put 100 Chimps in a room with a 100 computers in 100 years would be able to replicate Shakespear. But no, what do you all do, bite us in your animal rage. Of course we could have become infected by actually killing you and eat your meat, which I formally apologies. I’m sure your meat is tasty don’t get me wrong, but I’m sure you all would be just as happy if we stayed with hamburger or even Nachos.